Pre season 12WBT 10 days to go till kick off...

I started gaining weight at the age of 5. I was a highly anxious child when I was young and began overeating at age 5. Eating soon became my addiction and my comfort. I used to eat till I was sick at times. 

I was a very active child, my Mum &  Dad encouraged me to do sports and i was a strong swimmer- I even used to compete. I also did karate, Jazz Ballet, Tap Dancing , Basketball and Netball.


My mum had me at the dietician from the age of 6 years old. I used to stick to the diet and then hide food in my room and eat secretly.


I remember being 7 had to wear a leotard and skirt for our concert & my mum was getting me ready and I cried to her saying I looked fat and I was embarrassed. 

I was active however I always overate and just kept gaining weight.  

By the time I was 13, I weighed 110kilos and was morbidly obese. I suffered high anxiety and quit all of my activity/sports.

I struggled through my teens and became stuck in a vicious cycle. I would get down, hide away, I always felt less of a person to everyone else. I was shut down, I had no voice, and hid behind being the joker. I always had amazing friends and only was ever picked on by strangers. I used to get yelled at in in the street and and one boy who shall remain nameless I will always remember him snorting at me when I rode my bike past. I became damaged and fearful of life. Fearful of being picked on and everyone was better than me- I thought I was worthless. These days I have put this torment behind me and I no longer think of the days when I had rocks thrown at me by the kids at the state primary school when I used to walk home from my school. 
It was tough and I used to cry to my mum and then comfort myself with food- this was the cycle. I became bigger as the years went by. 

I began drugs at the age of 18 to cover the pain . I would go out and party and then this was the only time when off my face would I feel fully self expressed. 

I joined the Landmark Forum at age 20 after being told by my good friend Jay about it. Little did I know this 3 day course was about to change my life forever and give me the tools I needed to move forward.

I went through some tough spaces over the 3 day weekend of the course. I realized why I was sabotaging myself and what the triggers were throughout my life and how I was acting my past out in my everyday life. Thus then becoming my future. 

I graduated on the Sunday night from the forum declaring..... "Who I am is the possibility of love and courage, the act I'm giving up is I cant and that is who I am!" It was the beginning to a brighter future.

On the Monday night  I stood up and spoke to over 300 people at the microphone and shared what I had found about myself and what I was now committed to for myself and my life. I wanted to loose weight, become a DJ and live my life powerfully.

The next day I called Fernwood and booked in with my new personal trainer Vikki Giddings. I also called DMC Records in Commercial Rd and booked into DJ school!! YAY!!

My first appointment with Vikki I was shy and so nervous. 

I asked her not to weigh me as I was so ashamed to deal with the reality that I had become. Vikki was fantastic she suggested we measure with a tape to see my progress. 

Vikki showed me compassion, understanding, encouragement,  she ultimately inspired me and supported me from day one. 

We started training and built up to 7 days a week. I started Body Combat and soon found this was my favorite group fitness class. Since then I have added to this Body Pump and Body Attack.

Vikki was aware of my desire to stop taking drugs and she supported me through this change. There were times when I felt so alone and scarred.

I kicked this habit and managed to loose 20kilos through training with Vikki. 

In 2004 2 weeks after my 21st Birthday, my adorable father was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 cancer.  He battled with it for 11months and he passed away at age 53. I don's have many words to write here other than my heart was broken at this time in my life. 

I was lucky enough to spend my 22nd birthday with Dad in Cabrini Palliative Care hospital on the 21st August 2005. My dad passed away on the 2nd September. 

My weight at this point had gone up to 156kilos. 

One of the amazing gifts Dad gave me through his passing was my desire to be the best version of myself. I realised I only have one chance at this life and I needed to make a serious change. 

After having Yo Yo dieted throughout my life I began discussions with the centre for bariatric surgery &  booked in for a Lap Band procedure. 

I had this done 2 years later. I was so scarred and unsure about the challenges I was going to face daily living with the band. 

I managed to loose just over 20 kilos however I found that living with the band was quite challenging. I was often sick and couldn't keep food down. This was my own fault as I wanted it tight as in my mind I thought that starving myself would help me loose the weight quicker. 

NOT THE CASE. 

I have been living with this devise in me for 4 years. yes I have lost weight but by all means I have had to work out and focus on the little food that I can eat. Ensuring it is nutritious enough as portion sizes are very limited. 

oh and by the way Vikki and I ended up falling in love and we have been together nearly 8 years now!! We got together in 2005, February 13th to be exact. 

OK - so what is happening now- last weekend I participated in the World Guinness book of records for largest group fitness workout instructed by the one and only Michelle Bridges. Vikki has just completed round 1 of her 12WBT and I signed up for round 2. 

Today I went and had all of the fluid removed from my Lap Band!! YAY so I am able to 100% can eat the healthy nutritious meals on Michelle Bridges program. No more being sick for me!!!

Today I weighed in at 108.2 Kgs, my height is 170cms.

My commitment is to loose 30kgs. Book myself into become a qualified Les Mills Body Combat and Body Attack instructor in 2013. 

Thankyou to Vikki for loving me all the way, inspiring me to be the best version of myself and loving me for who I am... 

thankyou to Michelle- You are inspiring, powerful and we are doing this together

Thank you all for reading and supporting me on this transformation. I will regularly be posting progress photos, my thoughts, struggles & dare I say fears cos i know they will creep up on me at times.... wish me luck!

Much Love

Hayley