Reality set in

Today that voice in my head has been going off. I have been fearful that I am going to miserably fail at this. I just cannot imagine being slim and free from the life long battle that has held me back. I am pushing through it and am going to continue to follow the program a day at the time. 

Had my official weigh in and measure today. Weighed in at 108Kgs

Also had to take my first round of photos in undies and a bra. Felt very confronted and uncomfortable with what I saw but also I know this is the beginning and I am hitting the reality head on. This is the reality of what I have become and I am ready to make a change.

I want to be fully self expressed in who I am and live my life fulfilling my dream to become a fitness instructor. 

So confronted at the fact my fitness study begins on the 3rd July. My voice is saying all sorts of negative things. When I hear it start with the negative talk I have been quick to shut it down and this time it is not going to win. 

Have I taken on too much too soon? how am I going to work full time, study part time, train 6 days per week, plan my meals and DJ on weekends. 

So with this in mind I took out my diary and one of our tasks was to plan out our week- and guess what I have found that I can actually make it all happen and fit it all in with discipline, focus and determination you can make anything happen. 

Working out is my most important part of the day. I will do the major part of food preparation on the weekend and do the main grocery shop on a saturday afternoon straight after what we call a Super Saturday Session which is our major workout day of the week.

Next week I am challenging myself to a double class- Body Combat followed by Pump.

Friday tomorrow and only one component to my fitness test to be completed the walking/running test. Ill do that tomorrow night at the gym after work.

Training saturday morning, followed by a massage and getting my hair done. need some pampering.

Kick off on Monday- so Sunday ill be cooking and preparing the weeks meals and making sure I am organised. think I'll fit a dance class in there too. ShaBam or Body Jam. I need to make sure Im organised as playing at Love Machine on sunday night and need to have my lunch packed and breakfast ready for monday, and dinner organised as I have body attack straight after work. 

Glad I know I can fit everything in- it puts me at ease. 

Can I just say- PRINCE touched my soul last night- far out I'm in love with him all over again! what a show! he was amazing. Blew me away! 

I LOVE YOU PRINCE

.......on that note I had better get some sleep. 

Night all.....

Hails xox