I was not having the best of weekends the one just gone. I was feeling quite irritated and anxious. On sunday afternoon my back went into some kind of painful spasm and I wasn't able to do body attack tonight as it feels very tender and I don't want to do more damage. ( about 3 months ago I had a nasty back injury from a fall) So I've booked with my oesteo to have a back adjustment.
Thankfully Im feeling slightly better so skipping body attack tonight and stretching was the best option. I have body Pump tomorrow night and looking forward to that already.
I's so true that it only takes a month to get into the swing of loving and needing your excercise. I crave it and that is half the battle won.
Through the 12WBT pre-season I have been training 4 days per week and now Im more than ready to build that to 6 days and I already am beginning to feel the major benefits. I feel happier, I'm sleeping better, I am not as tired.
I must admit I am going through alot of spaces, doubt, frustration,anger, scarred.
I have a big challenge ahead of me, but its one day at the time, and if I keep going like I have today I will be alright and I know I will get there. This is going to to be the biggest test of my patience as I want to be there now. I want to be up there taking classes and inspiring others. If I can do this people, anyone can do anything they want.
This is the challenge of my lifetime and I am committed to taking myself on. I have wondered how many people have read this and thought why is she doing this- the truth is the more you share, and enrol others in your possibility, you are then owning your commitment, and then it will become your reality.
I am not ashamed anymore, I am scarred YES, hell yes I am scarred but I am pushing through the fear and not listening to that voice that likes to go off now and then.
I am committed, I am doing this and I can feel what it will feel like when I am there.
I drive my car playing my favourite combat / attack tracks and visualise when I am up there as a Les Mills instructor. That feeling is all I need to know. That feeling motivates me to make the right choice and to push myself harder when I train.
I can do this and I love how empowered I feel for having shared with many people my deepest fears, my life long struggle with myself.
Thanks for showing me love & support, It means the world to me right now.
Surrounding yourself with positive people whom influence and inspire you to be your personal best is so important and thankyou to everyone whom has shown me this in the last 4 weeks. I cant wait to give this back to others one day. I want to be there to help anyone who has struggled the way I have as a child, teenager and adult. Its no way to live life- and Im going to help others. Love to all
H
PS. Im writing on here as I feel I need to really, perhaps I will do another quick post on weigh in day wednesday.
Night x
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